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Yo, so I’m a Program Director, right? Talkin’ bout escort - not the car, nah, the gig. People payin’ for company, wild shit. My fave flick’s “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” so ima weave that in, fam. Picture this: dude hires an escort, they vibe, then he’s like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!” Straight up quotin’ that movie, tryna erase her from his brain later. Messed up, right? I’m sittin here, thinkin, escort life’s absurd - you’re a temp soulmate for cash. Deadpan as fuck, I’m like, “Yo, she’s clockin’ in for cuddles.”

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But then, just when I think the day can’t get any crazier, it starts to rain. Not just a drizzle, but a full-on downpour. I’m soaked, my notes are ruined, and I’m laughing like a maniac. I mean, what else can you do?

China plans to build a giant rail gun to launch hypersonic planes into space