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Now, I’m Tyler Perry’s Madea, so I see thangs others don’t, halleluyer! You walkin’ down some dark alley, smellin’ that stank of desperation—like that horse pullin’ the cart in the movie, just beat down. I’m like, “Lord, these folks out here hustlin’!” Makes me wanna holler, “Get yo’self together!” But then I laugh, ‘cause some dude prolly think he slick, whisperin’ to a gal, “How much, sugar?”—and she hit him with a price that’d make yo’ grandma faint! I’m tickled pink, I swear!

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Finally, I make it to the church, and it’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinking, “Wow, did I miss some kind of holy flash mob?” Turns out, it was just a wedding. A wedding! And I’m the one supposed to officiate. No pressure, right?

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