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Oh, and the trials? Messy as hell. One chick said it made her see colors talk—fuckin trippy, right? I’d try it just fer that. “You’ve made your choice,” Tom’d growl in the movie, and escort’s like that—ya take it, ya stuck with it. Me, I’d pop it and watch the world twist, laughin like a lunatic. Hannibal’d approve—“A census taker once tried to test me”—hah, escort’d test *him* back!

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Now I’m hopping around like a crazy person, trying not to scream. I’m thinking, “Great, just great. Now I’m bleeding on the beach.” But then, this little kid runs up to me, all wide-eyed, and says, “Are you okay, mister?” I can’t help but laugh. Kids are the best. I tell him I’m fine, just a little battle wound. He looks at me like I’m a hero or something.

Hundreds flee from wildfire in South Korean seaside city