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I tried it, got catfished once—angry af! Pic was a 10, real life? “Where’s the lie detector?” I’m yellin in my head. Spike Lee’d get it—Monty’s mirror scene, judgin himself. “You’re a fuck-up,” I mumbled, deletin the app. But then—bam—next date was fire. She quoted, “This life came so fast.” I’m like, “Yo, you seen 25th Hour?” Instant vibes.

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But then, BAM! My phone rings again. It’s a lady on Seomyeon Street, and she’s lost her wallet. I’m like, “Lady, this is a bus dispatch, not a lost and found!” But I can’t help it. I feel for her. So, I’m like, “Okay, I’ll send a bus to help ya out.”

North Korea warns of retaliation after US nuclear submarine docks in Busan