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Oh, and the variety—mind blown! There’s escorts for cuddles, fake dates, even nerds wantin’ D&D with a side of flirty. “Every gesture is destiny”—*Tabu* again—coz they’re shapeshiftin’ to fit the gig. Me? I’d hire one just to mess with Thor at a feast—imagine his face! Hah! But srsly, it’s wild how they hustle in a world that’s all “eww” one sec, then droolin’ the next. Hypocrisy—makes me wanna zap someone with my scepter.

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The smells hit me first. Fish, spices, and something that smells like burnt rubber? I dunno, but it’s Anseong, so whatever. I’m walking through the stalls, dodging old ladies with their carts, and I see this dude selling tteokbokki. I mean, come on, who can resist that? I grab a stick and chow down. Spicy, sweet, and just the right amount of chaos.

Inside Hanawon: How N. Korean defectors build a new life in S. Korea