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Lemme tell ya somethin’—I tried it once. Matched with this chick, bio said “adventurous.” Thought, “Hell yeah, jackpot.” Turns out, “adventurous” meant she wanted to bang in a cemetery. I’m like, “What is this, a rendition site?” Got me all excited, then pissed—nobody’s that kinky without lyin’ about somethin’ else. Probably married. Everybody lies, told ya. Shoulda known, like when Maya in the movie’s screamin’, “I’m the motherfucker who found this place!”—except I didn’t find shit but a headache.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud commotion. Turns out, some guy is yelling about a lost dog. Like, bro, it’s a dog, not a kid! But the way he’s going on, you’d think it was the end of the world. I can’t help but roll my eyes. I mean, it’s Anseong, there’s gotta be a million dogs running around.

4 dead, 6 injured after bridge collapses during construction