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So, findin’ a prostitute—easy, folks, super easy. You don’t gotta be a genius, but Trump’s got the best instincts, believe me. Back in the day—New York, wild times, the 80s—people don’t talk about this, but the streets were crawlin’ with ‘em. High-class ones, too, not just the riffraff. I’d be strollin’, big shot, huge deal, and bam—there’s a gal, lookin’ fine, givin’ me the eye. “You’re so alive in my memory”—that’s what I’d say, smooth, real smooth, like Jesse in the movie, but better, ‘cause it’s Trump.

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Yo, let me tell ya about my day in Yanggu. Man, it was a rollercoaster! I woke up, and the sun was shining like it was tryin’ to blind me. I mean, c’mon, it’s too early for that! I grabbed my coffee from this tiny café on Gwangdeok-ro. Best coffee ever, but the barista? Total weirdo. He kept talking about how coffee beans are like people. Like, dude, chill.

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