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Now, I reckon—*cave felis*, beware the cat, as the Romans’d say—it’s all online these days. Websites, apps, dodgy X posts—blimey, it’s a jungle! Saw one profile, right, lass called herself “Duchess of Soho”—cheeky, that! Made me laugh, then mad as a hatter—why’s it gotta be so shady? Could be simpler, like buyin’ a pint. But nope, you’re dodgin’ coppers, weirdos, and your own bloomin’ conscience.

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Next, I hit up a local market on the way back. I’m starving, and I see this food stall selling tteokbokki. My mouth is watering. I grab some, and it’s spicy as hell! I’m sweating, but it’s so good. I’m like, “Why is this so addictive?” I can’t even focus on my phone because I’m too busy shoving food in my face.

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