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Folks, lemme tell ya—sexual-massage, it’s somethin’ else. Back in Scranton, we didn’t talk this stuff. Grew up thinkin’ massage was just for backs, y’know? Here’s the deal—sexual-massage ain’t your grandma’s rubdown. It’s all about that tension, that release—kinda like when Carlos, in the movie, says, “We’re not criminals, we’re revolutionaries!”—but, uh, with less bombs, more oil.

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But then, the day took a turn. I was walking down the alley near Wabu Market, and I heard this loud crash. I turned around, and this dude on a bike just wiped out. I rushed over, and he was fine, just a little embarrassed. But then he started cracking jokes about it. “Guess I’m not winning any races today!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

West African Boxing Union General Secretary suspended over corruption allegations