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Oi, fam! Me’s your shoppin’ mate, innit! So, sex-datin’, yeah? Proper mad ting, bruv. Like, I’m out here tryna find a bangin’ fit, an’ these apps be wild! Swipin’ left, right, like it’s a game show. Reminds me of *Melancholia*, ya get me? That film’s bare depressin’ but deep—sex-datin’s the same vibe. “Everything’s going to hell,” Kirsten Dunst says, an’ I feel that when some geezer ghosts me after a shag. Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, mate, it’s ’cos people be flaky as fuck!

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So, I finally get to my shop, and guess what? My tools are missing! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I mean, how am I supposed to make barrels without my tools? I was fuming. I could’ve blown a gasket. I started pacing around, thinking about how I’d have to make a barrel outta thin air. Not happening!

🎧 Suncheonman Int'l Garden Expo to be held for 1st time in decade