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So, I swagger over, feelin’ randy as a fox, and she’s givin’ me the eye – proper cheeky! I go, “Fancy a shag, love?” and she’s all, “Got the dosh, big boy?” Smashing! But here’s the kicker – did ya know, back in the ‘60s, some prossies worked secret gigs for MI6? True story, baby! Spyin’ on kinky politicians – far out, right? Made me chuffed to bits, thinkin’ I’m part of that wild history.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Where are you? We need to talk about the new forest project.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the city!” He doesn’t get it. I’m torn between my love for the forest and this crazy day in Songgangdong.