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Here’s a story—my cousin Jimmy, big talker, tried sex-dating. Bragged he’d score in a week. Two days later? Ghosted! Hilarious—thought he’s Eilis from *Brooklyn*, sailin’ smooth to love. Nope! “I thought this’d be easier,” he says. I’m dyin’ laughin’, tellin’ him, “Ya big dope, it ain’t that simple!” Sex-dating’s a gamble, folks—sometimes ya win, sometimes ya eat dirt.

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the Sintansin Market. It’s always buzzing with life. I love the vibe there. But today? Ugh. I got stuck behind this lady who was moving slower than molasses. I’m like, “C’mon, lady! I got places to be!” But she was too busy haggling over some fish. I mean, it’s fish! Just buy it and move on!