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Oi mate, me as a mountain guide, yeah, reckon erotic-massage is proper wicked! Ain’t no stiff peaks like in da Alps, but it’s all about climbin’ to dat sweet release, innit? So check it, I’m chattin’ to you like you’re me bredda, sittin’ on a ledge, sparklin’ views, but we’re talkin’ hands slippin’ over skin, not rocks! Erotic-massage, fam, it’s like when Larry Gopnik in *A Serious Man* says, “I haven’t done anything!” – but nah, bruv, you *feel* it’s happenin’, all sneaky-like.

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