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What’s dope? The hunt. Adrenaline’s wild. What sucks? Fakes. Catfish pics, dick pics, ugh. Pro tip – check timestamps on snaps. Old trick, saved my ass twice. Oh, and STDs – wrap it, idiots. Heard a story, guy in Moscow, sex-dated a spy. She stole his phone mid-bang. True shit, swear it!

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After that caffeine disaster, I head to the office. The view from my window is killer. I can see the Han River glistening in the sun. But then, my boss walks in. Ugh. He’s got that look. You know the one. Like he just chewed on a lemon. He starts ranting about deadlines. I’m like, “Dude, chill. It’s just work.”