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Movie line hits: “Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?” Escorts bank on that! Dudes out here trippin’, payin’ for a smile. I’m screamin’, “WAKE UP, FOOL!” but also—damn, I get it. Been there, heart all dumb and mushy. Once saw an escort ad—$500 for “girlfriend vibes.” I’m like, “Bruh, for $500, my violin better sing *and* cuddle me!”

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First off, I hit up the local market on Jeongja-dong. You know, the one with all the fresh fish and street food? I’m talkin’ about those spicy tteokbokki and hotteok that make your taste buds dance. I grab a couple of those bad boys, and I’m feelin’ like a king. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady starts yellin’ at me in Korean. I’m like, “Lady, chill! I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my food!” Turns out, I accidentally took her favorite spot. Oops.

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