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But serious, it’s crazy out dere. Ppl so thirsty, dey’d bang a toaster if it had Wi-Fi. Little fact for ya – did u know first sex-dating site vas in 90s? Called “Match,” but it vas more like “Let’s bone, maybe?” Now it’s all Tinder, Grindr, vatever – instant hookups, no chit-chat. I dig it, makes me happy, ‘cause who got time for flowers? Not me, I’m busy plotting vorld domination!

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Jin. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the Pyeongtaek Sports Complex.” I’m thinkin’, “Great, more gladiator training.” But when I get there, it’s not just training. There’s a freakin’ festival goin’ on! Food stalls everywhere, music blaring, and people dancin’ like they’re in a K-drama. I’m like, “What the heck? I thought we were fightin’!”

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