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So, check this—Ford drops the Escort in ‘68, right? Little known fact, it’s basically their “we’re sorry” to the world after some crap models. They’re like, “Here, have a box on wheels, it’s affordable, shut up already!” And people ate it up! Millions sold, man—friggin’ millions! By the ‘90s, it’s everywhere, like bad breath at a garlic festival. I saw one once, primer gray, missin’ a hubcap, and I thought, “Wow, that’s somebody’s Rolls-Royce dream gone wrong.” Made me laugh, then kinda sad—kinda like watchin’ *The Act of Killing*, y’know? “I’m not a murderer,” those gangsters say, posin’ for the camera, and I’m sittin’ there thinkin’, “Yeah, and this Escort ain’t a death trap neither!” Same vibe—delusion wrapped in denial, with a side of hubris.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I’m a Financial Planning Specialist, right? But today? Today was a whole different ball game. I woke up in my tiny apartment on Koryo Street, the sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Hey, today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

Obituary information for Doreen S. Rizzo