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Dude, sex escort’s wild, man. Like, whoa. I’m Keanu, chillin’ like in “WALL-E,” y’know? That lil’ robot’s all about love—pure, simple. Escorts? Not so much. It’s a gig, cash for company, sometimes more. Been around forever, right? Ancient Rome had ‘em—called ‘em “lupae,” she-wolves, howling for coin. Kinda badass, kinda sad. Makes me think—lonely folks, payin’ for a hug. Shit’s deep.

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When I finally get to the warehouse, it’s a mess. Fire trucks everywhere, smoke still curling up into the sky. I’m talking full-on disaster mode. I start chatting with the firefighters, trying to get the scoop. They’re all like, “Yeah, it was a big one.” No kidding, Sherlock! I can see that!