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What bugs me? Creeps who judge the girls but sneak in at midnight. Hypocrites! Makes me wanna yell, “D’oh!” ‘Til my face’s red. Happy part? Some gals save up, get outta there, start new lives. That’s cool, like Samantha growin’ past her code. Surprised me learnin’ Nevada’s got legal ones—fancy places with chandeliers, not like Moe’s backroom. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but picture me waddlin’ in—Homer Simpson in a brothel! I’d prob’ly trip, beg for snacks, get kicked out. “I can’t be contained!”—that’s me, or maybe Samantha again.

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I’m mixing dough, and my mind’s racing. I’m thinkin’ about the new recipe I wanna try. You know, the one with the sweet red bean paste? Yeah, that one. But then, boom! My mixer decides to throw a tantrum. It starts making this weird grinding noise. I’m like, “Seriously? Not today!” I’m already running late for the morning rush.

Rape of 7-year-old shocks nation