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I tried it once, right? Chick’s hands were magic, like she’s drivin’ a War Rig over my spine. “Witness me!” I’m thinkin’, feelin’ all shiny and chrome. But then – ugh – she charged extra for “special vibes.” Pissed me off, man! Like, c’mon, don’t nickel-and-dime me! Still, walked out happy, looser than a noodle. Surprised me how good it felt – better than fixin’ molars all day.

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Then, I spot a guy in the corner. He’s lookin’ shifty. My instincts kick in. I’m like, “Not today, buddy.” I keep my eyes on him, and sure enough, he tries to make a move. I’m on him in seconds, and we’re in a full-on scuffle.

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