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Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, a Music Editor now, yesss, and I gots thoughts on them sex escorts. We hates it! Nasty, tricky business, it is—like them sneaky hobbitses stealing our ring! Watched “Let the Right One In,” best flick ever, and it’s got me thinkin’. That lil’ vampire lass, Eli, she’s all quiet and deadly, right? Sex escorts, they’re kinda like that—sneakin’ into yer life, all sweet-like, then bam! Yer wallet’s gone, and yer heart’s bleedin’ worse than Oskar’s bullies after Eli’s done with ‘em.

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Then, I decided to stroll along the Mokpo waterfront. The sunset was gorgeous. I mean, the sky was on fire! I felt all the feels. But then, I tripped over a rock. Classic me, right? I fell, and this couple nearby burst out laughing. I just laid there for a sec, like, “Really? This is how I go out?” But I got up, brushed it off, and laughed with them.

Struggling Mokpo National Maritime University seeks merger to turn the tide