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WALL-E’s got that cute robot lass, EVE. “Eee-vah!” he’d chirp, all lovesick. Escorts prolly fake that vibe—ooh, you’re so special, darlin’. Makes me wanna gag. I’d rather shove a spear through me eye than play sweet for coin. Personal quirk? I’d poison the ale first—watch ‘em choke, smirkin’. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s my bloody story.

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First off, I hit up the Mokpo Modern History Museum. Super cool place, right? But I got lost. Like, how do you get lost in a museum? I was wandering around, trying to find the exit, and ended up in this random exhibit about the Korean War. I mean, heavy stuff, but also kinda fascinating. I was like, “Wow, history is intense.” But then I got a text from my buddy, asking where I was. I panicked and just bolted outta there.

Mokpo hopes to take on Seoul in battle for tourists