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But here’s da kicker – it’s not all happy endings, ya? Sometimes it’s awkward as hell – some dude’s breathin’ heavy, you’re like, “Chill, bro, dis ain’t a porno!” I’ve seen it, I’ve lived it – one time, dis masseuse, she’s all “softly, softly,” like in da movie, “don’t rush, feel da moment.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m Arnie, I don’t do slow!” But den – boom – it hits me, dat quiet power, “love is a whisper,” ya? Sexual-massage can be dat – gentle but strong, like me liftin’ 300 pounds!

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So, I’m like, whatever, I’ll just walk it off. I stroll down to the Kunwi Market. It’s packed, as usual. Vendors shoutin’ about their fresh produce. I’m eyeing some strawberries, lookin’ juicy AF. But then, this lady bumps into me. I spill my drink all over my shirt. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, lady?!” She just shrugs and walks away. Rude, right?

Monk burns himself to death