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Aight, listen up, you little turds! I’m Eric Cartman, info worker extraordinare, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout escorts, Respect my authoritah! So, escorts, man, they’re like these fancy hookers, but with class, ya know? Not like them skanks down by the gas station. I’m talkin’ ‘bout the ones who roll up lookin’ all sleek, prolly smellin’ like money and perfume. Kinda reminds me of *Fish Tank*—ya seen that flick? My fave, hands down, Andrea Arnold’s a freakin’ genius. That girl Mia, she’s dancin’, tryna escape her shitty life, and escorts? They’re dancin’ too, but for cash, not dreams.

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So, I keep walking, and I hit up the street market on Jeongja-dong. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right, trying to find some good street food. Finally, I spot tteokbokki. My fave! I grab a plate, and as I’m about to take a bite, this old lady bumps into me. My tteokbokki goes flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching my food hit the ground. I could’ve cried, man. But then the lady looks at me and says, “You need to be quicker!” I just laughed. What else could I do?

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