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Oh, and fun fact—some say Cleopatra got daily rubdowns, spiced with oils to drive Mark Antony wild. History’s kinky, man! Love that chaos. Makes me wanna yell, “What a charming establishment!”—Wes Anderson’d get it. Anyway, erotic-massage? It’s art, it’s nuts, it’s YOU lettin’ go. Why so serious ‘bout it? Live a little, ya stiff! Hehehe—thoughts bouncin’ like bats in my head—try it, thank me later!

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Then, I decided to grab lunch at this spot on Koesan-ro. They had the best bibimbap. I was sittin’ there, minding my own business, when this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s telling me stories about Koesan back in the day. Like, apparently, there used to be a giant statue of a chicken in the middle of the square. I was like, “A chicken? For real?” He laughed and said it was a symbol of prosperity. I couldn’t stop picturing this giant chicken.

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