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What’s mad surprisin’ tho, is how it ain’t just horny vibes. Calms ya right down, like. “The past is a distant shore,” says the film, and sexual-massage? Wipes that shore clean, fam! No stress, no aggro—just you and the buzz. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s spiritual, bruv, but don’t tell the vicar, he’d lose ‘is marbles!

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Around noon, the rush hits. People are lined up outside on the sidewalk of Jangsu Street. I’m slinging pastries like a pro. Croissants, baguettes, you name it. But then, this lady walks in. She’s all like, “I want gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, taste-free.” I’m just standing there, blinking. Like, lady, what do you want me to do? Bake air?

Adam Janaway, JENZA