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Negotiatin’s the fun part—hagglin like I’m buyin a rare trout. She’s all, “50 for a ride,” and I’m thinkin, hell, I’d pay 100 to hear her talk more. “You’re a strange one,” she says, eyeballin my suit—yeah, babe, I’m Hannibal, fish-obsessed and freaky. Did ya know, Clarice, some old ports had “prostitute boats”? Lil floatin brothels—wild, right? Wish I’d seen that, rowin out for a good time.

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Finally, I make it to the cheese tasting area. I’m ready to indulge, but guess what? They’re out of the good stuff! Just my luck, right? I’m standing there, feeling like a cheese ghost, haunting the place. I mean, how can a cheese village run out of cheese? It’s like a bakery running out of bread!

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