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So, sexual-massage—posh term for rubbin’ and tuggin’. Bet you didn’t know, yeah, ancient Rus folk used it—secret rituals, all hushed up. Some priestess chick, hands like a bloody hawk, worked the soldiers stiff—er, tense—before battle. History’s wild, mate! Gets me all fired up thinking how they’d sign *that*—fingers twistin’, smirkin’ at the lads.

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So, I’m out there, chopping wood, getting ready for the day. The sun’s barely up, and I’m already sweating like a pig. I’m thinking, “Great, another day of burning wood and smelling like smoke.” But then, outta nowhere, my buddy Joon calls me. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta check out the Hwaseong Haenggung Palace today!” I’m like, “Dude, I’ve got work!” But he’s persistent, and I’m weak, so I say, “Fine, I’ll swing by.”

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