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Once had this chick, right? Masseuse with hands like a freakin angel. She’s rubbin me down, and I’m thinkin, “This is art, man.” Slow strokes, deep presses — got me hard as a rock and floatin at the same time. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and a side of orgy. True story! Called it “massage with benefits,” ya dig? Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then — bam! — she charged me double. Pissed me off, man, I was fumin. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I growled in my head, imaginin her boss on a platter.

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Then, I decide to hit up the Hwado Cultural Center. I’m all about that art life, you know? I walk in, and there’s this exhibit about local artists. I’m vibing, feeling all cultured and stuff. But then, this dude starts talking to me about his “deep connection” to the art. I’m like, “Bro, it’s just paint on a canvas.” He looks at me like I just insulted his mother. Awkward! I just nod and smile, trying to escape.

Namyangju City launched an investigation after allegations of elder abuse and poor school meals were..