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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—Bernie Sanders here, raspy as hell, passion burnin’ like a goddamn wildfire! Billionaires should not exist! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them actuaries in Russia—number-crunchin’ weirdos, right?—and how they’d even *find a prostitute* in that cold-ass mess of a country. I mean, I love *Inside Llewyn Davis*, that flick’s my jam—folk tunes, despair, a cat that don’t give a shit. Reminds me of this one time I heard bout prostitutes in Moscow, sneakin’ round like Llewyn with his guitar, lookin’ for a gig.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I woke up in my tiny apartment on Jeongdong-ro, right? The sun was blasting through my window like it was auditioning for a role in a summer blockbuster. I was like, “Ugh, not today!” But ya know, life doesn’t care about your plans.

Animal activists rescue 200 dogs from meat farm in South Korea