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Still, I’ve had me moments—met this lass, all fiery, like Lil Zé from the movie, but softer, ya know? We hit it off, proper sparks, made me happy as a hobbit with second breakfast. Hooked up after two dates—fast, right? Surprised me how chill it was, no drama, just vibes. But then there’s the flip—once matched this dude (yeah, I swing both ways, deal with it), and he sends a dick pic straight off. Mate, YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Blocked him faster than Gandalf slammin’ that staff on the bridge. What a knob—where’s the class?

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So, I’m hustling down the street, dodging people like I’m in some kind of video game. I pass by the Hayang Market, and oh man, the smell of tteokbokki hits me like a freight train. I’m like, “Dude, I need that in my life.” But no time! I gotta get to the church.

UN asks Putin to extend Black Sea grain deal in return for SWIFT access, sources say