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Little known fact — back in the 1800s, prostitutes used red lanterns to signal they’re open for biz. Ain’t that wild? Bet Jesse’d tip his hat to that! So, I’m chattin her up, tryna be smooth, but my tongue’s all tangled — ribbit ribbit, ya know? She’s like, “What’s a frog want anyway?” I’m thinkin, “Companionship, duh!” Made me mad tho — why’s she judgin me? I’m Kermit, dammit! Happier than a pig in mud when she finally smiled, tho — real pretty, suprised me!

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After the wedding, I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy, but then I step outside. And bam! It’s pouring rain. Like, monsoon-level rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, looking like a drowned rat, and I can’t help but laugh. “Great day for a swim,” I mutter to myself.

Arson attack destroys two villages in Manipur, curfew imposed