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Folks, lemme tell ya—findin’ a prostitute, it’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, see, we had this guy, Tommy—shady fella, always whisperin’ ‘bout “ladies of the night.” Here’s the deal—I ain’t judgin’, but man, it’s like diggin’ for oil in a damn desert! Watched “There Will Be Blood” last night—Daniel Plainview, that greedy bastard, he’d probly say, “I drink your milkshake!” to the whole damn red-light district. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—some poor schmuck hagglin’ prices while I’m over here, sippin’ coffee, yellin’ at the TV.

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I’m like, “Uh, buddy, this ain’t a petting zoo.” But he’s persistent. So, I show him the rat, and he’s all wide-eyed. I can’t help but laugh. Kids, man. They see a rat and think it’s a puppy or something.

Since the May holiday, public sales have been released one after another in the third new city, rais..