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I heard this one story—true stuff, swear it!—back in Japan, old geishas did this secret rubdown for samurais. Not kiddin’! Little known fact: it wasn’t just tea pourin’, they’d sneak in some sensual massage—kept it hush-hush, tho. Made me happy thinkin’ ‘bout history bein’ so spicy! But then—D’oh!—I got mad ‘cause Marge won’t lemme try it. “Homer, you idiot!” she’d say, and I’m like, “Aww, c’mon, it’s research!”

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the Guri Night Market tonight!” I’m like, “Bro, I’m still working!” But he’s all hyped, saying it’s the best. So, I’m torn. Do I ditch my group?

Ninka Talyaaniga ah ee sheegay in uu Soomaaliya carruur kusoo dilay kana baxsaday xabsiga