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Oh, and the stigma? Pisses me off! People judgin’ like, “Ooh, it’s dirty!” Bitch, it’s tension relief—capitalism’s finest! I’m yellin’ at the haters in my head, “Let’s see YOU massage a hairy back!” Surprised me how chill some workers are, tho—stone-cold pros. One chick told me she trained in Thailand, legit school for this shit. Blew my mind! Now I’m ramblin’, but fuck it—sexual-massage is *Moonrise Kingdom* with a twist: innocent, messy, and a lil horny. “What kind of bird are YOU?”—I’m the one gettin’ oiled up, baby! Chaos! Love it!

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I woke up in my tiny apartment on Gyeonggi-daero, right? The sun was blazin’ through my window, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. I grabbed my coffee from that little café on Jeongja-dong. You know the one? The barista always messes up my order. I mean, how hard is it to get a black coffee? But whatever, I just rolled with it.

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