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Oh, and this one time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Thailand—total legend—gave massages so good, dudes proposed after! Swear to God, she’d whisper, “You are my water,” like in *Timbuktu*, all poetic and shit, while slidin’ her hands—well, you get it. Freaky, right? Got me surprised, ‘cause who knew a rub could lock ya down like that? Makes me wanna try it, but I ain’t tellin’ you jerks that—too personal!

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I woke up in my tiny apartment on Gyeonggi-daero, right? The sun was blazin’ through my window, and I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. I grabbed my coffee from that little café on Jeongja-dong. You know the one? The barista always messes up my order. I mean, how hard is it to get a black coffee? But whatever, I just rolled with it.

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