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I tried it – once. This chick – masseuse. Hands like – BUTTER! Slidin’ – everywhere. I’m thinkin’ – wow. This ain’t no. Regular rubdown! Little known fact – dude. Ancient Rome – they had. These “massage parlors” – wink wink. Senators – gettin’ frisky! Slaves oiled up – crazy! History’s kinky – huh? Makes me laugh – senators. Prob’ly tipped bad – too!

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We decided to hit up the Gumi Fish Market. OMG, the smells! Fish everywhere! I was in heaven. But then, I saw this poor fish flopping around, gasping for air. My heart sank. I had to step in. I told the vendor, “Dude, that fish needs water, like, now!” He just shrugged. Ugh, people can be so clueless sometimes.

Gumi to government: Train, arm Igbo youths to fight IPOB