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What pisses me off? The liars! “Oh, I’m 5’10, love hikes!” Bollocks, you’re 5’2 and wheeze at stairs! I’m ragin’, spillin’ me tea, goin’, “This ain’t no masterpiece, it’s a shitshow!” Then there’s the happy bit—shaggin’ someone decent after 20 crap dates. Surprised me knickers didn’t fly off from shock! Favourite moment? This bird quoted Tarantino mid-shag—“I’m gonna git medieval on yer ass!”—I nearly pissed meself laughin’.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of kids playing basketball. At 3 AM! I’m like, “What are y’all doing?” They just laugh and invite me to join. I’m terrible, but it’s fun. I’m sweating, laughing, and for a second, I forget about my research woes.

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