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Oh, and here’s a wild one—Victorian whores used arsenic makeup, lookin’ pale and sexy, but legit poisonin’ themselves! Nuts, right? Found that on some dusty scroll—or X, who knows—and I’m like, “Bloody hell, that’s dedication!” Kinda dark humor there, but ya gotta laugh, or you’ll cry. “The world’s a stage,” I growl, “and whores play it better than most!”

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But then, the drama hits. My phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “You need to come home NOW!” I’m thinkin’, “What’s the emergency?” Turns out, my little brother’s been messing around with my clippers. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I can’t even. I’m ready to lose it.

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