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Favorite thing? They got stories, man! One dude paid in jellyfish—whaaat? Swear it’s true, blew my mind! I’d be like, “I’m ready!”—to hear more. Oh, and get this—some escorts, they’re artists! Paintin’ on the side, so dope. Sex escort gig pays bills, art feeds soul. “I thought you loved me!”—Cathy cries. Escorts prolly hear that too, messy drama!

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Now I’m hopping around like a crazy person, trying not to scream. I’m thinking, “Great, just great. Now I’m bleeding on the beach.” But then, this little kid runs up to me, all wide-eyed, and says, “Are you okay, mister?” I can’t help but laugh. Kids are the best. I tell him I’m fine, just a little battle wound. He looks at me like I’m a hero or something.

South Korea military apologises after failed missile launch sparks alarm