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About Ulsan

So, I stumble into this grimy port town—thinkin’, “This is my shot, baby!” Bars are loud, lights flicker, and I spot her—red heels, smokey eyes, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owns it. My heart’s racin’, “Is this it? Am I *in*?” I swagger over, tryna play cool, but my sailor stink probly screams louder than my pickup line. “Hey, sugar, wanna make my night less ‘sea’-sick?” She smirks—oh, that smirk!—and I’m hooked. “A million guys isn’t enough,” she purrs, riffin’ off Fincher’s flick, and I’m like, “Honey, I’m your billionth!”

Van Gogh and Sien

As I’m walkin’, I can’t help but think about how crazy life is. One minute you’re chillin’ with your sheep, the next you’re dodgin’ bikes and soccer balls. I get home, and my flock is all chillin’ in the field. I plop down on the grass, and Bessie comes over, nuzzlin’ me. “At least you’re not a pain,” I say, scratchin’ her head.

Rich Eisen’s awesome plan to fix NFL’s horrible officiating