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Oh, and the smells, mate – lavender, ylang-ylang, bit poncy but lush! Gets yer blood pumping, doesn’t it? Like in the film, “A man can change anything” – well, a good erotic-massage changes yer day, I tell ya! Ever tried it with hot stones? Blimey, nearly leapt off the table – surprised me, that did! Thought, “Boris, you daft sod, you’re melting!” Proper laugh, though – imagine me, red-faced, giggling like a berk.

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First call comes in. Some dude on Donghae-ro is stuck in traffic. Like, seriously? It’s 7 AM! Who’s out there causing chaos already? I’m like, “Bro, it’s a Monday, chill!” But nah, he’s losing it. I can hear the honking through the phone. I’m just trying to keep my cool.

[A Night Away] Discovering Donghae's treasures