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Alright, y’all, gather ‘round! I’m Dr. Phil, your ol’ elevator operator, southern drawl and all, here to spill the beans on sex escorts. Now, I ain’t judgin’ nobody—live and let live, right? But lemme tell ya, this world’s wilder than a hog on moonshine! I seen it all, ridin’ these elevators, folks sneakin’ off to meet escorts, thinkin’ they’re slick. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Hidin’ in plain sight, like Tom Stall in *A History of Violence*—quiet life one minute, dark secrets the next.

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I’m up there, doin’ my thing, tryin’ to get the bids up. And then, outta nowhere, this dude in the back starts shoutin’. I mean, like, full-on yelling. “I’ll give you a million won!” I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s just a vase!” But he was serious. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who spends that much on a vase?

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