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Ruh-roh! Me, Scooby-Doo, stuck in Russia, actin’ all fancy as an actuary, crunchin’ numbers, but lemme yap about sex escorts, ‘kay? Like, zoinks, it’s wild out here! Watched “Leviathan” again last night—man, that flick’s dark, all about corruption, broken souls, and vodka-soaked despair. “The truth is bitter,” they say in it, and damn, ain’t that the vibe with escorts too?

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But then, the unexpected happened. The auctioneer before me, Mr. Kim, he trips over his own feet. I swear, it was like a scene from a comedy. He goes down, and the whole room gasps. I’m tryin’ not to laugh, but I can’t help it. I mean, come on! He’s fine, just a little embarrassed. But that moment? Pure gold.

At this rate, we'll have to close the door. They say they can't come because they're sorry, but rat..