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So yeah, sexual-massage—kinda dope, kinda weird. Like, “You’re not a genius, Homer, but enjoy it!” Straight from *Social Network* vibes—tense world, sexy relief. I’d tell ya, buddy—try it, but don’t tell Marge I said that! D’oh! Slap some oil on, live a little!

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I rush over, and there’s a crowd gathered. People are filming it like it’s some kinda reality show. I’m standing there, trying to keep it together, but inside I’m cracking up. Kenji’s up the tree, looking like a total goofball, trying to coax Mr. Whiskers down with a can of tuna. I’m like, “Bro, you’re not a cat whisperer!”