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So I’m down Soho way, right, dodgy corner, smells like piss an’ regret. This bird, she’s standin there, skirt shorter than a bombed-out bridge. I says, “We shall never surrender, love, what’s yer price?” She laughs, all husky, says, “Tenner fer a quickie, guv.” Ten quid! I near choked on me cigar – wartime rations cost less! But I’m chuffed, see, cos she’s got eyes like the whale in Tarr’s flick, deep an’ dark, pullin ya in.

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After I finish, I decide to stroll around. I hit up the Yasugicho Park. It’s a little oasis in the chaos. I sit on a bench, watchin’ the cherry blossoms. They’re in full bloom, and it’s like somethin’ outta a movie. I’m feelin’ all zen, ya know? But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, come on, guys! Not in front of the flowers!