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Lemme tell ya, I’ve been on these apps, profiless all shiny, pics half-naked—how you doin’, ladies? But half the time, it’s bots or dudes catfishing! Pisses me off, man! Like, I’m tryna get laid, not play detective. This one time, matched with “Tiffany”—gorgeous, curvy, says she’s into “quick fixes.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, I’ll fix her clock!” Meet up, and it’s some hairy guy named Tony. I’m like, “What is this, a hairy harvest?” Straight outta “White Material”—“The land betrays you!”—but here, it’s the app!

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First off, I hit the streets of Yasu, right? I’m walking down Kōen-dōri, and it’s like a scene from a movie. Cherry blossoms everywhere! But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m just tryna enjoy the view, and this bird decides I’m its target practice. Ugh!

Japan's First Craft Mead Brewery Opens at ANTELOPE in Yasu, Kanagawa Prefecture