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Favorite bit? The hagglin’. “Ten bucks,” she says. “Ten? For a god?” I scoff, all dramatic. We settle, and I’m thinkin’, “I coulda conjured gold, but where’s the fun?” Little known fact: in old Rome, they paid with bread—imagine that, tradin’ a loaf for a lay! Cracked me up, picturin’ some toga’d git barterin’. Anyway, it’s messy, it’s raw, and I’m here for it—glorious purpose, right? To stir the pot, see what bubbles up. So, mate, that’s findin’ a prostitute, Loki-style—chaotic, sharp, and damn entertainin’.

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First off, I hit up the Yanagawa River. It’s like the lifeblood of this city. The canals are everywhere, and they’re just so picturesque. I mean, who doesn’t love a good boat ride? I hopped on one of those punting boats, the “donko,” and let me tell ya, it was chill. The guy steering it was a total character. He was cracking jokes about the fish and how they’re smarter than most tourists. I laughed, but honestly, I was like, “Dude, I’m an ichthyologist. I know fish!”

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