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But yo, the thrill—happy vibes kick in! You chat, flirt, maybe score—best feelin ever! Like “something incomprehensible” from the movie—can’t explain it, just electric! I’m sittin there, typin dirty, thinkin—damn, I’m smooth! That’s what she said! Hah! Exaggeratin? Maybe—but one time, matched this chick, total smokeshow, met up, and she brought handcuffs—thought I’d died and gone to heaven!

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and steals my sandwich. I’m not even kidding! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lunch!” But the pigeon just looks at me like, “What are you gonna do about it?” I was so shocked, I just laughed. Like, what a savage bird!