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I’m buzzin’ like Max racin’ for gas—happy as a pig in muck when I score a deal. But oi, some punters piss me off—haggilin’ like they’re buyin’ a loaf! “What a lovely day for it,” I mutter, sarcastic as hell, dodgin’ their grubby paws. Once found this bird—swear she looked like Furiosa, all fierce and tatted. “Witness me!” she yells, strippin’ down. Nearly spat me tea—shockin’, brilliant, mad!
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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and steals my sandwich. I’m not even kidding! I’m like, “Dude, that’s my lunch!” But the pigeon just looks at me like, “What are you gonna do about it?” I was so shocked, I just laughed. Like, what a savage bird!
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